


State of the Fart

by annabeth



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bad Humor, Crack, Farting, I needed a silliness break from my other fic apparently, I'm so sorry, M/M, The Author Regrets Everything, Why Did I Write This?, Why do I do this to myself, farting during sex, i'm five, stinky boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 02:36:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11591178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/pseuds/annabeth
Summary: Um. JJ does something unfortunate during sex.





	State of the Fart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shadesofhades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofhades/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Full of Hot Air](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11582976) by [shadesofhades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofhades/pseuds/shadesofhades). 



> This is totally [ShadesofHades](http://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofhades)'s fault... nope. I lied. I am the worst enabler, and I have been felled by my own terribleness. lol
> 
> Idk why farts are so funny, but this is basically potty humor porn. I'm so sorry.
> 
> Oh, also this is an outtake to [Full of Hot Air](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11582976). The explanation for why there needs to be an agreement about farting in bed. Yeah, you should probably read that one first. It's worth it though. It's hysterical. (I can't believe that not only am I posting fart fic, but reccing it too.)

_It was the best of farts, it was the worst of farts…_

It happens during the best orgasm of Yuri's life. He's soaring, pleasure ringing through him, cock spasming and spurting and _oh God_ , he's going to fly forever—

Beka is thrusting into him, and JJ's cock is in his mouth. He's trying hard to remember to suck him off even as his glorious orgasm bears him away on angel's wings.

_Poot._

It's quiet, Yuri almost doesn't hear it but he can _smell_ it right away. It fills his nose and mouth and JJ's grunts along with the noise; Yuri gags and shoves at him, spitting out his cock.

"Dude! Get off me, you asshole!" Yuri yells, and everything stops. Beka's not moving anymore, and JJ's collapsing behind Yuri on his ass on the pillow. "And that's _my_ fucking pillow, jackass, don't you _dare_ fart on it!" Yuri screams.

"Oh my goodness," JJ says, his cock bumping Yuri's head. "I'm sorry, okay? It slipped out!"

Pulling out, Beka regards Yuri and JJ with dark, earnest eyes.

"JJ," he says, "you gave Yuri hell for doing that when his stomach was upset. It's really not polite to fart in someone's face _while they're blowing you_."

JJ's cock is now tickling Yuri's ear; fucking filthy cunt-ass fuckhead. To touch him after that!

"I said I was sorry!" JJ says. "Seriously, kitten, I didn't mean it."

"I'm not getting you off now," Yuri says mulishly. "And there's no way I'm fucking that ass tonight after that."

"It would be nice if someone had an orgasm besides you," JJ hurls back at him.

"Yuri, JJ." Beka sounds dangerously serious. That side of him no one ever wants to be on. "I think we need to agree to no more farting in bed. Of any kind. Not sleeping, and not during sex. Got it?"

"He _farted_ in my face!" Yuri gasps in indignation. " _I_ didn't do anything!"

"I couldn't help it!" JJ says. "It really needed out."

"Then you should have done it before I was blowing you, you fucking idiot," Yuri says, reaching up behind him to jab JJ in the stomach—too hard.

_Toot._

Yeah, _that_ was a mistake.

"Beka!" Yuri cries, "he farted in my _hair_!"

"So help me," Beka says, giving them both hell in a look, "I will turn this relationship around. JJ, go use the fucking bathroom or something."

JJ climbs over Yuri, who squeezes his eyes shut in terrible suspense, afraid there might be more coming, when Beka is there, suddenly, kissing his lips gently.

"Relax, Yura," he whispers. "I'll wash your hair."

"He ruined the best fucking orgasm of my life," Yuri whines.

"I'll give you another one," Beka promises, driving his cock slowly back into Yuri.

But… oh God. Oh no.

The bathroom fan is on, and Beka's staring at him with all kinds of emotion in his eyes, but Yuri… he… fuck he just can't _help it_.

_Poot!_

"Oh, Jesus!" Beka says with a grim look. "I'm not kidding, the next person who farts during sex isn't getting invited back. Temporary ban!"

Yuri slinks down into the bed, trying to hide.

From the bathroom, JJ, the fucking peanut gallery, calls,

"Hypocrite!"

Just for that, the next time Yuri is fucking JJ, just the two of them, on the couch, Yuri farts. On purpose. Sort of. It's more like he needs to and he just… doesn't hold it in.

Beka makes him sit in the smell all alone, closing the door to the room while he and JJ watch goofy YouTube videos.

"You both suck," Yuri mutters to himself. Still. He's alone…

_Toot._

END. THANK GOD.


End file.
